


Moon and Tide

by Waxwing



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-13 12:18:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18940798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waxwing/pseuds/Waxwing
Summary: The early days of Guillermo and Nandor's "arrangement."





	1. Coffee Dates

Even after he accepts the job (for lack of a better term) Gulliermo has the sneaking suspicion that Nandor is fucking with him. It’s not that he doubts that vampires exist, even when he’d seen no evidence of the fact he’d somehow known deep down that they did, it’s just that his low self-esteem won’t allow him to easily accept that one would deliberately seek him out and offer him a position as it’s familiar. So he’s cautious at first, he meets with Nandor once a week in a public place (usually the Starbucks down the block from his apartment) and only does little errands. Most of it's obvious stuff but some of it’s...weird. He had gotten a feeling around Nandor though, an irrational, visceral feeling like how he imagines the ocean must feel when the moon pulls it toward the shore. That’s what had kept him going back, every Tuesday an hour after sundown, to that Starbucks where his master would be waiting at the same table in the back, holding a coffee cup that Gulliermo was pretty sure never had anything in it in order to “blend in.” Guillermo had been tempted to tell him that if he wanted to blend in he probably shouldn’t dress like that but had, of course, never actually said it. 

They’d been having these little “coffee dates” for a few months when Nandor had said that he was going hunting afterward and asked if Gulliermo would like to come along. It took Gulliermo a moment to process what exactly is being offered and another moment to decide if saying yes would be a good idea. Ultimately he figured that the worst case scenario was that this had all been an elaborate prank and this was the point that it was going to be revealed and the best case scenario was that the guy he’d been running errands for for the past three months was an ACTUAL vampire. After he sputters out a hesitant yes and they head out into the night it occurs to Gulliermo that the REAL worst case scenario is that Nandor is just some kind of psycho and he’s about to be murdered but he figures he’s in too deep to pull out now. As they walk, Gulliermo keeps coming up with questions to see if he can trip Nandor up. 

“So... do you always hunt on foot or can you, like... turn into a bat or something?” 

“Yes and yes.” 

“...huh?” 

“I can be a bat AND some things.” 

“Like what?” 

It takes Nandor a moment to answer, he seems distracted, like he’s waiting for something specific to happen. 

“Hmm...wolf, cloud of mist....more than one bats.” 

“Like in Bram Stoker’s Dracula?” 

“Who?” 

Before Guillermo can express surprise, Nandor freezes and seems to be listening to something... Guillermo doesn’t hear anything. He tries to ask him what it is but only gets the first letter out before he’s unceremoniously shoved into the bush behind him. The next day, there would be a bruise in the middle of his chest, where Nandor’s hand had hit. Through the pain, he registers being told to stay down and so he does. He can see the walking path where he and Nandor had been standing from his position on the ground and he looks up just in time to see a cloud of dissipating mist. 

So much time goes by that the suspicion he’s being pranked comes back again...if he is, it’s not a very good one...kind of a long way to go just to push him into a bush. Just a Gulliermo starts to contemplate getting up, dusting himself off and going home, he hears voices. Two teenagers, a boy, and a girl, approach from the right. The girl is clinging to the boy’s arm and they’re talking loudly about a concert they’ve apparently just come from. Gulliermo has never been to a concert. 

Something hits the ground about a yard in front of them; a little, metal thing. They both pause a moment and then the girl goes over to pick it up. The minute her back is turned, something moving so fast that it looks like a blur snatches the boy and pulls him up into the trees. He screams, but not for long. There’s a snapping, crunching noise and then his body hits the ground with a thud. The girl shrieks, turns back the way they’d come and runs...smack into Nandor, who hadn’t been standing there a second before. He pulls her to him, right arm around her waist, left hand tangled in her hair. Wrenching her head back, he lunges for her throat and latches on. He stands there holding her, his face buried in the crook of her neck, just long enough for Guillermo to feel like he’s intruding on something intimate and then drops her bloodless corpse as casually as someone tossing away a candy wrapper. 

Until that moment, Guillermo hadn’t known that it was possible to be overjoyed and horrified at the same time. His every instinct was telling him to run but another part of him (the part of him that was drawn to Nandor like the tide to the moon) wouldn’t let him move. ‘You knew this was a part of it’ he mentally reminded himself, ‘you’ve ALWAYS known that this was a part of it.’ His heart is pounding and his ears are ringing and he can taste bile in the back of his throat but he’s snapped out of it by Nandor’s voice. 

“Did you faint?” 

“N-no...” 

Guillermo makes a failed attempt to stand but manages it on the second try, rising up out of his hiding place. 

“Good.” Nandor beams as though he’d been assuming all along that Guillermo wouldn’t have the constitution to watch him feed. Guillermo feels proud to have surprised him, his panic has subsided now but its physical effects are still lingering. He hates that his hands won't stop shaking. 

“Get that for me, will you?” 

Nandor points to the piece of metal that the (now dead) girl had gone to inspect and Gulliermo automatically goes to retrieve it. It’s a gold broach that the vampire had been wearing on his collar earlier that evening. When Guillermo goes to hand it to him, Nandor makes no move to take it but only looks at the other man expectantly. Picking up on the cue, Gulliermo reaches up with his shaking hands and puts it back in its original place. Nandor smiles again, as though this were another test that his new familiar has just passed. Nandor continues down the path, wrapping an arm around Gulliermo’s shoulders as he goes. It’s the most physical contact Gulliermo has had with the vampire (the REAL vampire!) thus far and every nerve in his body tingles at it. Nandor's hand is surprisingly warm... probably from the human blood he just drank. 

“Are we just gonna’ leave those there?” He can’t help but ask as they continue walking. 

“It’s fine.” Nandor brushes off his concern. “People get killed in this park all the time.” 

This concerns Guillermo just a little (he LIVES walking distance from this park) but he doesn’t want to spoil the moment. 

“Now, Guillermo...” his master's voice pulls him out of his own head once again, “if you’re to go on being my familiar, we need to discuss your living arrangements.”


	2. The Whole Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gulliermo's first night as a full-time familiar.

Gulliermo is surprised to learn that Nandor has roommates; they don’t refer to themselves as a “coven” because they prefer to “keep things casual.” He’s briefly introduced to Lazlo and Nadja at one of the house meetings that he will eventually learn occur whenever Nandor deems it necessary. More specifically, he’s introduced at the very end of the meeting after standing silently behind Nandor and listening to the three of them argue over rather or not feeding and/or sex should be allowed in the library. It is ultimately agreed upon (begrudgingly on Lazlo’s part) that feeding will be restricted to private quarters, the sitting room and the dining room and sex will be restricted purely to private quarters...with the exception, of course, of preplanned orgies. Lazlo mutters something under his breath about “puritanism” and them seems to see Gulliermo for the first time. There’s a long pause during which Nadja eventually also looks up at him. 

“Oh!” Nandor finally breaks the awkward silence. “Guillermo, say hello.” 

Gulliermo just numbly waves, unable to think of anything appropriate to say. 

“Is he replacing... Tad?” Nadja asks. 

“Ted.” Lazlo corrects. 

“Brad was your familiar.” Nandor interjects. 

“Oh...” Nadja only seems vaguely invested. “Did we ever find out where he went?” 

“Haven’t seen a trace of him since he ran screaming into the night after walking in on us in the library.” Lazlo smirks and takes Nadja’s hand in both of his. Nadja laughs and for a moment the two get lost in each other's eyes. Nandor, again, breaks the silence. 

“Meeting adjourned.” 

Gulliermo and Nandor are left alone in the “fancy room” and for a moment Nandor actually seems uncomfortable, like an uncle who’s just unexpectedly been left in charge of a nephew that he doesn’t know very well. He snaps out of it before Gulliermo can think of anything to say. 

“First you should clean.” He gestures broadly with his heavily ringed right hand. 

“Uh...ok...just this room or...?” 

“No, the whole thing.” 

“The whole house?” 

“Right.” Nandor nods. “Brad used to but...you know.” 

Judging by the state of the house, Tad/Ted/Brad either ran screaming into the night a long time ago or was a terrible housekeeper. You can tell which items in the house get touched and used the most often because they’re the only things that aren’t covered in cobwebs. There are multiple layers of reddish brown drag marks in the hallway (god, he hopes that’s blood) and splatter marks of a similar color along the baseboards in the sitting room. He’s relieved to find the ground floor bathroom only looking as though it’s seldom been touched. There’s a door just off the sitting room with multiple locks on it and he hadn’t been given any keys, he guesses he’s not supposed to go in there. What troubles him most is that he can’t find any cleaning supplies and Nandor had disappeared (quite likely literally) shortly after assigning him his task. 

He goes upstairs slowly because every step creaks. The second his hand touches the knob of the first door he encounters, a hand grabs him at the base of the neck and yanks him back. 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” 

It’s Lazlo and he’s not sure if that's better or worse than if it had been his master. 

“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!” 

“Don’t apologize, thank me. If my good lady wife found you in our crypt, she’d have your testicles for her collection.” 

Lazlo smiles at that last part but in a wistful sort of way that gives Gulliermo the feeling that it’s not a joke. 

“Sor...I mean, thanks...it’s just that my master said to clean the ‘whole thing’.” 

“Not the most articulate fellow, is he?” 

Gulliermo KNOWS it’s a bad idea to answer that question and Lazlo seems to know it too because he doesn’t leave enough of a gap for an answer. 

“A familiar doesn’t go into a vampires room unless specifically ordered to do so. We’re there,” Lazlo points to the door closest to them, “Nandor’s at the end of the hall.” 

“Do you know if he’s in there right now?” 

“Why would I know that?” 

This time Lazlo does wait for an answer but then eventually just rolls his eyes and continues toward the stairs. 

“Do you know where the cleaning supplies are?” 

Lazlo stops abruptly and his whole body goes stiff, he doesn’t turn around as he answers. 

“Why...would I...know that?” 

Despite it being the same as the answer to Gulliermo’s last questions, there’s a venomous undertone. Guillermo feels like he’s done something wrong but has no idea what. 

“Sorry.” It comes out as a whisper. The vampire heaves an exasperated sigh. 

“Basement, maybe?” 

“Thanks.” 

Lazlo continues down the stairs without responding, eventually Gulliermo hears the harpsichord in the study begin to play. Guillermo makes his way to the basement as quickly-but-quietly as he can; he suddenly finds himself extremely anxious that he may run into Nadja. There are a lot of things in the basement; broken furniture, racks of old clothes, sealed crates, an accordion, a casket with a ragged hole in the lid (as though someone had put their fist through it)....a second accordion. Eventually, Gulliermo finds a mop...just a mop. On his way back toward the stairs he notices a door he hadn’t seen on his way down, he tries his luck but it doesn’t budge. He rattles the handle, maybe it’s just stuck, but when he hears something start to shift around on the other side he bolts back up the stairs. 

Eventually he winds up walking to the nearest mini-mart and buying cleaning supplies with his own money, of which there is a limited quantity since he quit his job yesterday. He probably should have found out if familiars get paid anything before making that move but he’d been so excited and he’d always HATED that job. He’s trying to dust the chandelier when Nandor materializes behind him. 

“How’s it going?” 

Nandor seems considerably more relaxed then he had earlier, Gulliermo will eventually learn that that’s how he always is after a feed. 

“Fine.” Guillermo lies. 

“Great.” Nandor smiles (there’s still some blood on his teeth), then looks doubtfully around the room. “It’ll be done by sundown tomorrow?” 

Gulliermo can’t tell if that’s a command, a question or a command phrased as a question so he just nods. Nandor hovers a while in the room after that, watching him struggle to clean the chandelier. Eventually, Nandor sort of perks up, as though he’s just realized something. He strides across the room and picks Gulliermo up like he’s a toddler. 

“I forget humans can’t levitate.” 

What he’s supposed to do clicks in Gulliermo’s head then and the little burst of panic he’d felt at being so easily lifted subsides. He dusts the chandelier and then Nandor sets him down not quite gently enough. 

“Thanks.” 

Gulliermo feels like all he’s said “sorry” and “thanks” WAY too many times with the past few hours. Nandor makes no acknowledgment of the expression of gratitude. 

“Half an hour before sunset, you close all the curtain,” he gestures broadly with his right hand again, “and then you come to my crypt.” (Guillermo will eventually learn that all vampires refer to their rooms as “crypts.”) 

He just nods, he feels like he’s done too much of that in the past few hours too. Nandor nods back and then disappears again. Guillermo sticks his hand through the place where his master had been and then feels stupid and returns to his assigned task. When he’s done with the floor, he googles when EXACTLY sundown is on his phone and then sets an alarm for half an hour before that. When the alarm goes off, he thoroughly washes his hands, closes the curtains and then goes to the room at the end of the upstairs hallway (where Lazlo had told him Nandor’s “crypt” was.) Nandor is already dressed for “bed” and seated at a vanity that’s mirror shows no reflection, holding up a hairbrush. Eventually, this ritual will become one of the most natural things in the world for Gulliermo but the first few times he does it, it feels like a rare, thrilling, privilege; like getting to pet a lion. 

At around 8 in the morning, Guillermo is still cleaning; scrubbing bloody wine glasses in the kitchen sink. He drops one when he hears a chipper voice behind him. 

“Morning!” 

He whips around to find a guy that looks like the day manager of any given electronics store standing on the other side of the room. Oddly enough, this is the very last thing he would have expected. He’s struck dumb but the other man goes on talking. 

“They stuck you with the housework, huh?” There’s feigned sympathy in his voice but his smile doesn’t falter. “I guess I’m not surprised they brought someone else in to do it. They’ve been bickering like crazy over who should have to ever since Brent left.” 

Gulliermo remains mute but this doesn’t seem to phase the other man. 

“They don’t usually invite me to the meetings but I listen from behind the door.” 

“A-are you a familiar?” 

The other man laughs as though this were the funniest thing he’d ever heard. 

“If I were, then they wouldn’t need you, would they?” 

Gulliermo feels nervous and... queasy. 

“Collin Robinson,” the other man extends a hand toward Gulliermo, “put’er there.” 

Gulliermo reluctantly shakes Collin’s hand and then feels...weird. There’s a pressure inside his arm that travels down to his hand and he suddenly feels colder. 

“So, did you follow Nadja home?” 

“No...Nandor...Nandor’s my master.” 

“Oh.” Colin sounds so incredulous that Gulliermo can’t help but ask; 

“Is it... weird that Nandor’s my master?” 

“I guess not.” Colin shrugs. “It’s just that, as far as I know, he only interacts with people when he’s...ya’ know...hungry.” 

Colin Robinson laughs, then pats Gulliermo on the shoulder. 

“But I’m sure you’ll be fine.” 

Gulliermo feels colder again, he’s getting a headache and there’s a ringing in his ears. 

“I’ve got a lot to do.” Guillermo unconsciously mimics his master’s broad, right-handed gesture. Colin nods as though he understands but then continues to linger around just...chatting...continuously. If you’d asked him afterward, Gulliermo could not have told you any specific thing he’d said, all he would remember is that the pressure in his head kept building and his body kept feeling heavier and heavier. 

“Isn’t there somewhere else you need to be?” Guillermo blurts out before he can consider rather or not it’s a good idea to say it out loud. 

“Oh, yeah.” Colin looks down at his wrist...he’s not wearing a watch. “Better get a move on or I’ll be late for work.” 

He gives Gulliermo one last pat on the shoulder and then bounds out the kitchen door...into the sunlight... 

As soon as he leaves, Gulliermo sprints into the downstairs bathroom, throws up into the toilet and then crouches in a corner. He wakes up an hour later, not even remembering having fallen asleep. He trudges to the mini-mart again, buys a six-pack of five-hour-energy, downs half of it in one sitting and keeps cleaning.


End file.
